When dawn and dusk are the only times that feel normal while on transit, travelling whole may seem strange and scary because every other time in between is a big hole.
A woman may scar,hurt and break. But she must keep moving. Walked a woman living with Fistula’s journey as part of my own. I learnt to walk slower if need be,to talk more as we go and to always go in sync.
She brought forth life,labour was too long and too much. The experience left her with obstetric fistula. Starting her ten year journey of desperation.
She was shunned, her husband left her. Her friends couldn’t stay long around her. She stank,and she hurt.
Her gait was funny,her clothes always soiled. She tried to remember how being beautiful felt, she was breaking apart. Her children needed her.
Her body was tired,she stopped drinking water often. She was subconsciously trying to fix the leaking, it messed up her kidneys. She was dehydrated.
She couldn’t work enough hours,her children and herself lived in poverty. Until she had a chance to attend a free medical camp and her fistula was repaired.
Now as sure as dawn,she sits and looks ahead,her eyes glistening with tears. Memories of the last ten years so fresh. With a new day,she has to learn again that she was always whole. That the hole of fistula wasn’t going to define her infinitely.
She now knows how powerfully beautiful looks and feels like. She has lived it. She knows it’s not strength, it’s days of many feelings that culminated in herself.
Her gait will be rooted in home,all phases of her journey will show in each step. Because she is herself, she is Africa, she is mummy. She is life.